(no subject)
Feb. 16th, 2003 02:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cherryI have break.
Yay!
I just needed some time off. Starting to get a bit worn down. We lost our middle on the basketball team to an exchange program with Quebec, so I'm pulling double duty now. And all the other stuff. Same old junk as always. Contrary to popular belief, I do realize that I am just some silly kid, and highly uninteresting.
New icon. ::Points:: Jen was a dear and scaled a huge, unwieldy cap down to a point where I could actually play with it.
Hrm. So that this isn't a GIP... I'm trying to wrap up all my university stuff, but I'm having some issues. With Queen's, to be specific.
Toronto's been wonderful to deal with. They're friendly and helpful, and not at all confusing. (Even if they do only give you two slots for sports, and clubs, and instruments, and...) They even email you reminders just in case you've forgotten something. I have to get my parents to fill in the financial forms (and I'm so screwed there, because farmers have high, high incomes, most of which goes into putting a crop in the following year) and wait on my interim grades for this term -- I get those some time around April or May.
Queen's? I've gotten an email saying that they've got my Compass application (and not to contact them again), but they haven't told me where I have to send my transcripts, or where I can fill in the PSE.
And, of course, my computer can't read PDF files, which is what it will invariably be. My computer won't even let me look at image files that aren't part of a webpage. If the url ends in .jpg or .gif, or anything of the sort, I can't see it at all. I could print it off from school, but I'm not back at school for a week. I can't contact them right now to get it figured out, due to office hours. I'm rarely home during the hours certain *web forms* are active.
::Shakes fist:: I'm going to be a bit annoyed if I end up missing the deadlines because of this.
Okay, I'm going to be more than a bit annoyed. I'm thinking it's Toronto I really want, though. The Industrial Engineering program just seems like a perfect fit. Of course, Queen's has that dual-degree program...
In all reality, not only do I need admission, but I need a sizable scholarship, or I'm just not going. I don't have the resources otherwise, and our 'high-ish' income (stupid farm) is going to make it really hard for me to get any sort of student loan. My parents aren't going to be much with the support.
I just -- I just want to be somewhere else sometimes, you know? I'm restless. It makes my feet itch. I love where I am right now, but I just can't be here forever. I see so many people who graduated from this school full of dreams, and they're still right here. I see so many people who've never left the province for more than a few days, or who've never left at all.
I'm just so afraid that that will be me. I don't begrudge it to those whom it is right for, but I couldn't stand it for myself.
Ever since I was little, I've just wanted to know everything. I want to know why, and how, and when, and just how all the pieces fit together. I realize it's impossible, but that's what makes it all the more tempting. For the longest time, I thought it was something everyone felt. I thought it was the most normal thing in the world. I had no idea that this wasn't shared by everyone. I still remember asking my mother in exasperation "But... Don't you ever just want to know?"
"Know what?"
"Everything."
"Why would I?"
Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe I'm always going to be looking for something more.
But... I don't think there's really anything wrong with looking for something more, looking for new things to try. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to experience things outside of your current range. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be better than you are.
Well, that got a bit melancholy and fragmentary than I was expecting...
Yes. Going back to my corner now.
Yay!
I just needed some time off. Starting to get a bit worn down. We lost our middle on the basketball team to an exchange program with Quebec, so I'm pulling double duty now. And all the other stuff. Same old junk as always. Contrary to popular belief, I do realize that I am just some silly kid, and highly uninteresting.
New icon. ::Points:: Jen was a dear and scaled a huge, unwieldy cap down to a point where I could actually play with it.
Hrm. So that this isn't a GIP... I'm trying to wrap up all my university stuff, but I'm having some issues. With Queen's, to be specific.
Toronto's been wonderful to deal with. They're friendly and helpful, and not at all confusing. (Even if they do only give you two slots for sports, and clubs, and instruments, and...) They even email you reminders just in case you've forgotten something. I have to get my parents to fill in the financial forms (and I'm so screwed there, because farmers have high, high incomes, most of which goes into putting a crop in the following year) and wait on my interim grades for this term -- I get those some time around April or May.
Queen's? I've gotten an email saying that they've got my Compass application (and not to contact them again), but they haven't told me where I have to send my transcripts, or where I can fill in the PSE.
And, of course, my computer can't read PDF files, which is what it will invariably be. My computer won't even let me look at image files that aren't part of a webpage. If the url ends in .jpg or .gif, or anything of the sort, I can't see it at all. I could print it off from school, but I'm not back at school for a week. I can't contact them right now to get it figured out, due to office hours. I'm rarely home during the hours certain *web forms* are active.
::Shakes fist:: I'm going to be a bit annoyed if I end up missing the deadlines because of this.
Okay, I'm going to be more than a bit annoyed. I'm thinking it's Toronto I really want, though. The Industrial Engineering program just seems like a perfect fit. Of course, Queen's has that dual-degree program...
In all reality, not only do I need admission, but I need a sizable scholarship, or I'm just not going. I don't have the resources otherwise, and our 'high-ish' income (stupid farm) is going to make it really hard for me to get any sort of student loan. My parents aren't going to be much with the support.
I just -- I just want to be somewhere else sometimes, you know? I'm restless. It makes my feet itch. I love where I am right now, but I just can't be here forever. I see so many people who graduated from this school full of dreams, and they're still right here. I see so many people who've never left the province for more than a few days, or who've never left at all.
I'm just so afraid that that will be me. I don't begrudge it to those whom it is right for, but I couldn't stand it for myself.
Ever since I was little, I've just wanted to know everything. I want to know why, and how, and when, and just how all the pieces fit together. I realize it's impossible, but that's what makes it all the more tempting. For the longest time, I thought it was something everyone felt. I thought it was the most normal thing in the world. I had no idea that this wasn't shared by everyone. I still remember asking my mother in exasperation "But... Don't you ever just want to know?"
"Know what?"
"Everything."
"Why would I?"
Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe I'm always going to be looking for something more.
But... I don't think there's really anything wrong with looking for something more, looking for new things to try. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to experience things outside of your current range. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be better than you are.
Well, that got a bit melancholy and fragmentary than I was expecting...
Yes. Going back to my corner now.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2003-02-16 08:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From: