If there were a test for being a girl, I would FAIL.

[cherry]

Am alive. Was eaten by school, but was fortunately carrying Swiss Army Knife, and managed to hack my way free.

Went shopping today with a friend, spurred by the fear of not having pants. Pants are overrated anyway. Potato sacks for all, hurrah!

I was, unfortunately, banned from shopping in the men's section. This led to much angst on my part, as I tend to purchase most of my clothes there. One of the guys called me whilst we were out, and seemed to think this moratorium was a good idea. (What? They're less expensive, better made, and more comfortable. Also, they rarely have decorative holes in places you are not expecting them. Women's clothing is designed to be disposable, as you are supposed to want/need the new model at this time next year anyway.)

It is quite possible I spent almost $200. But for that, I did get three pairs of jeans, one pair of dress pants, a dress shirt, and a sweater. I also possibly discovered that sneaker shopping is in my near future. I've been wearing the same pair since grade 11 -- and that's five years, dear god -- but they've taken a distinct turn for the worse in the last two or three months.


In other news: Questions that are embarrassing to ask at the ripe old age of 21:

Me: So, how do you tell what colours of eyeshadow look good on you?
Sales Girl: o.0
Me: And I hear something about having to use multiple colours at once?
Sales Girl: o.0!!

But seriously: When you consider the permutations and combinations provided by the current cosmetics industry -- colours and types of mascara, blush, eyeshadow, eyeliner, lipstuff; the number of brands providing these options that can be combined; the number of ways in which each selected combination can be applied...

OMG, calculus is less complicated, people. Seriously.


As a side note: North Americans spend almost as much on cosmetics every year as it would take to educate every single person in the world for that same time frame.


** It has been brought to attention that this all might be taken as evidence for some so-called "girliness" on my part. That conclusion would be deeply erroneous.

Comments

[firebird308.livejournal.com]

::looks at her unused makeup and offers it to you::

At least Mom finally gave up on getting me any. >_> I'd look weird in makeup with my usual jeans/shorts and a t-shirt on anyway.

[tellitslant]

Dude! Did you buy makeup! omg who are you and what have you done with Cherry? *g*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_medley_/]

Uhm, hope you don't mind a random stranger wandering in here, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who kind of feels like I missed a class somewhere in the being-a-girl department, at least where overly complicated eye makeup is involved. It's like they expect people to just know these things.

Maybe it's because I subscribe to the "fashion magazines just make you feel ugly" school of thought.

[cherryice.livejournal.com]

Makeup is overrated. Bah.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_bounce_/]

Dude. If it weren't for the fact that I have to take the legs up a really stupid amount, i'd get all my pants in the men's section. :) And I'm with you on the eyeshadow thing. My sister has decided that I need to learn to do mascara and I'm not even going near the rest of that stuff.

Also, I'm sorry I snapped at you the other day.

[cherryice.livejournal.com]

I killed her and used her bones for tasty soup!

I maybe got one small thing of browns? Aparently, browns are good with blue eyes? But it is only for speeches and presentations, yes, and I do not understand how they are all supposed to go together on my eyelid.

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

You got a bad salesperson. A savvy one would have let you try on colors and made recommendations for eyeshadow.

[cherryice.livejournal.com]

New people are always welcome!

I tend to look at the women's magazines at the checkout line and sigh. I mean, if only shaping your thighs, finding the cutest fall welcome mat, and getting the perfect salmon mousse were the biggest problems in the world.

Gender roles suck, yo.

[farwing.livejournal.com]

So...regarding eyeshadow: I have only one color that i ever use and it's Acid rain by Urban Decay. All others are not nearly scary-green enough. Color combos are for lipstick! Er...I tend to layer my lipstick. I'm not sure if this is unusual or not. Um...I feel that this gives you the impression that I'm some sort of makeup fiend. I assure you, I am not.

I'm not sure they make men's clothing short enough or small enough for me.

[cherryice.livejournal.com]

See, it turns out that the women's pants looked better this time. The last pair of dress pants I got were men's -- an excellent olive pair with brown pinstripes. I'm in that 'tall for a girl, but short-ish for a guy' range, so the legs are manageable for me.

Make is... yeah. Mascara seems like a really good way to stab yourself in the eye with a paintbrush, is all I'm saying.



Don't worry about snapping at me -- I'd forgotten all about it.

[cherryice.livejournal.com]

Apparently, browns are good for blue eyes. And I should avoid cream (creme?) shadows, and liquid eyeliner. Which was helpful, because I have been tossing and turning in my sleep, grinding my teeth and wondering at what I'm missing with liquid eyeliner, yes. It haunts me.

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

See, I love makeup, and I've come to the conclusion it's all about the brushes. You can use brown eyeshadow really close to your upper lashes if you have a small wedge-shaped brush -- you don't need much, and then use dark brown or black mascara on outer edges of upper lids -- other than than, you really don't need anything except maybe a little pale beige (with some shimmer if you want) on your upper lid. Wedge brushes will put the color where you want it.

[cherryice.livejournal.com]

I wear an awful lot of Blistex and Burt's Bees Lip Balm, to be honest. Burt's Bees may be the best stuff ever. It is all minty and honey-y. Also, lovely and natural.

I have a lip gloss that has a redish tint? Also, a translucent powder, because I tend to wear a lot of sunscreen. The powder is more theoretical than anything, because I don't actually make use of it. It just kind of sits there.


I am lucky with guys' clothes, as I am tall enough for a girl, which makes me just on the short side for a boy. The best thing, though, is having tiny feet and being able to wear kids' shoes, as that means I do not have to pay tax on them. Yay for kids' shoes!

[tellitslant]

Mweeheehee. First it's one small thing of browns, then you'll be on to eyeliner, and before you know it you'll be wearing so much mascara Rose will look restrained!

*pictures that*

*falls over laughing*

OK, maybe not. I do know you should avoid blue shadow with blue eyes, though. ;)

[cherryice.livejournal.com]

Makeup -- to be honest, it scares me a little. We fear the things we do not understand.

Thank you for the tip!

Wedge brushes: They are the pointy ones that come with eyeshadow? Or are they the giant ones that look like part of a pie?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_bounce_/]

I'm in that 'tall for a girl, but short-ish for a guy' range, so the legs are manageable for me.

*nods* Whereas I usually have to take up women's pants at least by at least one, usually 2 inches just so I'm not tripping over them all the time. Short legged pants are even too long some of the time. ;)

Mascara seems like a really good way to stab yourself in the eye with a paintbrush, is all I'm saying.

But you're not pretty unless your corneas are bleeding or covered in bits of ink! It's what all the cool kids are doing these days. And don't get me started on home eyelash dying kits... They've got all the problems of mascara plus the added bonus of keeping your eyes shut for at least half an hour and the burning pain when they dye ends up in your eyes.

I owe you feedback. I'll write it up um... not tonight since I have a family dinner on, uh. Tomorrow if I can get this next assignment done, otherwise Wednesday or possbly Thursday - I think I've got some spare time then if I can get most of my sources for the essay on the fall together before I go to the pub. ;)

[elvenjen4.livejournal.com]

It's my understanding eyeshadow colors are more matched with your skintone and hair and clothes rather than eye color. But I have no idea what colors look good on me either so, y'know, take that for what it's worth. *g*

The cosmetics industry is insaaane. I'm normally not into it but if my new job gets more business-oriented, I suppose I should start to smooth out my complexion. I know very little about eyeshadows, and eye liner just plain creeps me out, but I can work the mascara...

What made you suddenly go all girly with makeup? :)

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Small...but buy them separately -- they don't have to be expensive. For the bigger part of your eyelid you can use what comes with the color, but they're usually not too good and it's hard to get the color right down next to the lashes. The important part is the narrowness of the edge. Man, I wish I lived near you. I'd love to take you makeup shopping!

[cherryice.livejournal.com]

I used eyeliner once! I wore it to give a speech, and when I came in to school the next day, one of the girls looked at me and said: "Cherry*! You're wearing makeup! ... Why are you wearing makeup?"

To which I replied: "Actually, I was wearing makeup yesterday, but it turned out to be waterproof!"

And I don't know about everyone else, but water is generally what I use when washing my face or showering.


* Only she didn't say "Cherry" as that is not really my name.

[cherryice.livejournal.com]

I, um, really have no idea about this makeup thing. I wear a lot of Blistex. And Burt's Bees. I love my Burt's Bees.

What made you suddenly go all girly with makeup? :)

Now, assuming any sort of 'girliness' on my part could be dangerous, hon. It's more a 'I might want to know this at some point' sort of thing. As well as a 'with my new responsibilities, there are going to be a few times when I am going to be expected to look professional. Crap.' thing.

[cherryice.livejournal.com]

Okay, that makes sense. Width of the edge of the brush is the limiting factor on initial line narrowness.

Man, I wish I lived near you. I'd love to take you makeup shopping!

Hee! That would be excellent. And likely much less confusing on my part. *is smrt*

[cherryice.livejournal.com]

Short legged pants are even too long some of the time. ;)

All that means is that you don't have to duck as much when you're going spelunking.

And don't get me started on home eyelash dying kits...

I have possibly had my eyelashes tinted. But not at home. Because it was cheap. And it lasted two months. And, boy, talk about easy maintenance.

... just going to go and put my head down, now.

I owe you feedback. I'll write it up um... not tonight since I have a family dinner on, uh.

Whenever you have time is cool, hon.

[gurrier.livejournal.com]

I love men's clothes with a love that is deep and un-natural. It's the little things like properly stitched hems, pockets, colours I like, pockets, natural fibres, and did I mention pockets? Unfortunately, I'm too, erm, woman-shaped to get a decent fit. Boo hiss.

As for make-up, at 37 I'm still clueless and completely uninterested. I do own one tube of lipstick, which I bought for my wedding. Five years ago. I am a total failure as a girl :)

And hey, the icon you made for me is perfect for this!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_medley_/]

if only shaping your thighs, finding the cutest fall welcome mat, and getting the perfect salmon mousse were the biggest problems in the world.

Bwahaha! So true. Although if salmon mousse could save the world, the world better not look to me for help. The world might be a better place if certain people were whacked over the head with the perfect fall welcome mat, though. *g*

Gender roles suck, yo.

Indeed.

[gurrier.livejournal.com]

Apparently I'm also a total failure at LJ. THIS is the icon I meant...

[cherryice.livejournal.com]

Yes! Fabrics that are more than a millimetre thick, designed to last, the lack of pink (though pink is making major in-roads into guys' clothing these days, for some reason I do not understand), primaries instead of pastels, better workmanship, and less money. It is a Good Thing. I, um, tend to carry most of my weight in my upper torso, and I find that guy's shirts and bunny hugs actually have more room in through the bust than girls' clothing does.

As for make-up, at 37 I'm still clueless and completely uninterested. I do own one tube of lipstick, which I bought for my wedding. Five years ago. I am a total failure as a girl :)

Gender roles are overrated, anyway. *high fives*

[cherryice.livejournal.com]

Hee. It happens, hon. *G*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_bounce_/]

Hee! Every so often I give in and let my sister do mine, because it's free and all that. I do usually end up with regrowth in my eyelashes, though. .:)

Whenever you have time is cool, hon.

Thanks!

[cyberducks.livejournal.com]

Maybe I should start wearing man's pants - I have a heck of a time finding jeans that flatter my behind.

My make-up consists of burt's bees tinted lip gloss, a bit of foundation and a bit of very subtle rouge on my cheeks to make me look more glowy and less pale. I refuse to wear eye make-up.

[cherryice.livejournal.com]

I absolutely adore Burt's Bees.

My daily wear is, um. Well. Sunscreen. And regular Burt's Bees, or Blistex.

[sprat.livejournal.com]

You're braver than I am, venturing into the cosmetics world. The only times I've ever worn any, it had to be put on me by smarter people, in this mysterious process I've never been able to follow. Likewise hair things--I can braid, and have learned, over time, how to use small amounts of hair goop to keep things from getting really out of hand, but that's about the extent of it. I still have to be escorted to the hair dresser, because otherwise I have no idea how to tell them what I want. *loses at girl-ness*

[curlyjo1.livejournal.com]

I wear girly clothes, but I hear you on the makeup thing. I actually asked my mom, "Oh God, do I HAVE to wear makeup for the wedding?" I might wear lipstick. That's the usual extent of my makeup, and that's for special occasions.

[dkphoenix.livejournal.com]

I like makeup. :-) But I hear ya on the men's clothes. Their t-shirts and sweatpants especially are light years better made at half the price.

The brown eyeshadow thing is a bit of a copout on the part of the makeup counter clerks. Yes, it works with blue eyes. It works with any color eyes. Speaking for my blue-eyed self, I like plummy purples and shades of charcoal best, but khaki/greenish brown and bronzes and coppers look good, too. (Blue eyeshadow is bad on everyone. And let's not even get into pink.) You can easily get by with two of those three colors in one eyeshadow combos that the discount stores sell, a muted color one for business and one with a little bit of sparkle for going out. (Or you can skip the sparkly one for evenings, if you want, and just use your daytime colors a little darker.) A charcoal gray eyeliner is best unless you're really blonde or really dark, only put it around the outer 2/3s of your eye, though, drawing a line all the way to the inner corner makes your eyes look small.

[cherryice.livejournal.com]

I honestly believe that calculus is less complicated than cosmetics. *steels herself*

It's possible that there is also talk of making me buy a flat iron, because they did that the last time I got it cut, and apparently everyone at work loved it.

I am a-feared. *hides*

[cherryice.livejournal.com]

Heee. *high fives*

[cherryice.livejournal.com]

I am really kind of in awe of you right now. Just so you know.

[dkphoenix.livejournal.com]

Ha :-) I'm really not terribly girly myself... or maybe I am this strange, schizoid creature that can simultaneously rewire your network and shop for shoes. That is a possibility. But mostly, it's because my grandmother owned a beauty salon, so I grew up surrounded by bottles and tubes and jars of all kinds of sample stuff from the cosmetic reps. That, and people doing all sorts of ill-advised things to their hair.

Liquid eyeliner is a huge pain in the ass. It's hard to apply, and it always, always winds up running. I like the crayon kind that comes in a tiny stick/tube, that rolls up like lipstick. Rimmel makes a really nice one, if you can find that brand at a Walmart or a Target, runs about $2-$3 US. You're on the right track with your tinted lip balm, "sheer" lipsticks are the big, hot thing right now, they enhance your natural color without the "Look! I have LIPS!!" effect. If you want a little more color or definition, you can take a lipliner and run it lightly across your lips, rub it in to smooth the color, then put the lip balm or sheer lipstick on top. That makes the color last a lot longer, too.